The work on our relationships never ends, and that’s a beautiful thing. Every day we sit across the table from these people in our lives, and we have a new opportunity to either regress, or evolve beyond where we started together.
At the same time we’ve never quite experienced this particular new day. We’ve never had this many kids, this many job demands, heightened desires, or shiny, cool things vying for our attention. We’ve never carried so many devices that give us instant access to people’s lives who aren’t sitting across from us.
This is a continual challenge for me based on how my brain is wired. Hence, all the conscious thought process, meditation and need for tech-fasting. Social technology is a requirement for my line of work, but I’ve had to develop boundaries to keep it from being all-consuming.
In the interest of adding value through service and creativity, it all needs to start and end with our interpersonal relationships.
Our immediate surroundings (and the gorgeous souls in them) blur as we focus beyond: to our careers, aspirations, our causes, or communities. But life expands from the center-outward; from our soul-connection and into our lens, then to our beloved family and friends, out to our passions and into our work and beyond.
Our focus should be pristine HD 1080 for our immediate peoples, with everything beyond coming into focus as they approach.
The people we’re connected with provide our most accurate mirror. They remind us who we are, and what we set out to be in the first place. They are the most likely to call bullshit when needed. If they are tyrants or pains in the ass, we can either assume that we are too, or we need them to set us straight.
Who else can navigate us back to center between our dreams and the lives we’re currently living? Most often we can’t really see that ourselves.
We just work here.
I’ve been practicing a method I call The Magic Mirror with clients and coworkers for years. Recently though, I realize that I haven’t been using it enough at home.
Like many ‘80s kids, I watched me some Romper Room. Do you recall that show?
The teacher’s name was Ms. Molly, and she was fly. She could rock a corduroy dress smock over a turtleneck and make that shit work. She would break into song just as quickly as she dropped knowledge bombs. Every show ended with an all-inclusive, affirming ritual called The Magic Mirror.
She’d look into the camera through the frame of a hand mirror and recite:
Romper bomper, stomper boo
Tell me, tell me, tell me do
Magic Mirror, tell me today
Did ALL my friends have fun at play?
I see Stevey and Bobbi, and Jason and Karen. I see Maggie, Kelly, Stacy, and Betsy. I see Brendon and Jonathan and Tommy…
We run into trouble when we get too wrapped up in ourselves, only using others to reflect back what we’re hoping to see. We’re relying on them for validation for our work, or talents, or looks.
But what if we flipped The Magic Mirror? We hold it up to others and consistently project back to them an enhanced sense of self. We remind them how beautiful and important they are… to us, and to the world at large.
We help them see everything they’re capable of, and who they’re becoming in our view.
The Magic Mirror sees the whole of everyone, but negates any shortcomings or flaws. It magnifies their beauty, humor, wisdom, and value. It includes them in our journey as a trusted teacher, a role model, and a compass.
Do you see this person? Because, THAT is who I see.
This really shouldn’t be magic. It should just be the way it works. The magic aspect of the mirror is that it’s broken in the on position. It has the beautifully-brilliant filter locked in place, and it’s incapable of projecting otherwise.
And like any other habit, when we consistently prove to ourselves and others this is how we now roll, everyone is more likely to believe.
Believe in themselves.
Believe in us.
Believe in the power of The Magic Mirror.
I see Gayle, and Elliott and Frankie and Leon, I see Tyrone and Sheila and Nichols and Livvie, I see Kirky and Lillie and Meghan and Raleigh. I see Joey and Justin and Lizzie and Willard…
I see throngs beyond throngs of amazing souls, and I’m lucky to count myself amongst you.
This was really sweet, and some great advice. I totally watched the Romper Room growing up. Interesting way to approach my interactions with people.
As always, awesome stuff KC.
My boyfriend. Older brother was on the show yrs ago,i dont remeber the yr. But his name is frank. Aka franky last name starts with m.