As part of the launch of The New Sobriety program this week, I thought it would be fun to take an inventory of what has changed in my life since giving up The Drinks.
Let me be clear that life isn’t always roses just because you quit booze. Life on earth is still pretty complex and difficult at times. My goal is to show you that if I can do it, quite literally anybody can.
But more important than whether to drink or not, is what could potentially be waiting for us on the other side of habitual choices, open bars, and endless reasons to consume. What blew me away as I went through this process, was how shifting gears away from drinking opened up much larger doors of possibility.
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Sure, I could have done many of these things while still drinking in moderation. But I can’t say I would’ve enjoyed them as deeply, or have been able to juggle them as well.
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1. My work and career

2. Attachments

3. Confidence to conquer other addictions

4. My marriage and family life

5. Our home

6. Songwriting & perfectionism

I should probably mention that my drinking self would’ve never had the nuts to publish a 12,000 word manifesto on inspired living, or any of the programs I’ve launched.
7. Running

8. More joy / Less shame

9. Overall energy level

10. Finances


11. Meditation practice

12. Not taking myself so damn seriously

Sure, I still had a pretty crazy sense of humor. But I would often seethe beneath the surface. I’d often hide my pain and discomfort beneath some bullshit perma-grin mask. “There are no weeds in my garden!”
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Not drinking has forced me to use my humor in much healthier, authentic ways. It has also allowed me to be much more vulnerable when I’m in pain. There’s just so fewer places to hide. This is obviously painful at first.
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But once we’re comfortable with our new minimal landscape, we can operate as we’re meant to: Pared down. Sharp-eyed. Awake.
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We can also belly-laugh at our complete stupidity, or at the folly of others. Cuz seriously, this giant Clown Car is so entertaining.
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What have you noticed about drinking versus not drinking? I’d love to compare notes below.

Have you checked out The New Sobriety?
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AWESOME. Thanks for sharing this. I’ve been wanting to have a chat with you and Cynthia on the non-drinking thing for a while now, and this pretty much covered it. You are an inspiration on so many levels. Rock on, KC.
Hey Torey! So glad you stopped by today then. 🙂 I was thinking today that I can’t name one person who ever told me that quitting drinking made their life harder, or less happy. #fact
Love this. So much of today’s social activity revolves around drinking, and it’s extremely difficult to take a step back and say no. The constant temptation of Dollar Nights and Thirsty Thursdays make it nearly impossible to realize that even after one or two pops, you’re simply numb to a lot of the magic in everyday life.
Facing natural anxiety and tiresome afternoon stresses of getting everything done without alcohol is an empowering essential step to waking up and letting go. And as you’ve shown, from there many good things flow!
Love it Chris, very well said. It’s just another vicious cycle we must become determined to break free of.
Talk about singular impact. You have a particular set of qualities that have prepared you for this, yep. Think of the people you’ll help by putting this out there. That goes deep, you. I mean, really. This is *deep.* I was mentioning this to Gary from camp who just celebrated 30+ years of sobriety: While at the Hazelden family program when my ex went through rehab, I basically sobbed openly for 4 days straight. But I learned how to be a better human. For me this meant loosening my grip on control and starting to forgive myself and the world for all the f-ing flaws. Oh, man, I know that outward smiling, inward seething thing! It’s a lifelong practice, but practices get stronger the more you do them. Way to go!
Your sweet comments hit me hard just now Suzi. Thanks. Faced a lot of bizarre, hurtful energy last night from a close relative. Hoping it was booze related, because that level of suffering (the kind that wants to consume everyone in its path) can only be attributed to illness.
We’re meant to move beyond these small, entertaining, or distracting habits. We’re meant to align our lives to something bigger than us. I just can’t think of anyone I’ve met who quit, who said that life is now worse. Hasn’t happened. And yet, The Drinks slowly carve holes in hearts, souls, and families. ENOUGH, I say.
There are clearly better ways to party. Much love Suzi.
Sounds like you’re facing some stuff today. As my mom would say, “What’s one thing you can do to take care of YOU today?”
I. LOVE. THIS. !!!
I have created a similar list that I refer to when I want to go “dark side”, which still happens, for sure.
One major difference is that I know that feeling when it’s coming. While it’s difficult to stop that train from arriving at the station, I can now greet it with compassion, empathy, and (sometimes) reason by pulling myself into gratitude and recognizing that in this moment, I have choices. One thing drinking did for me was minimize my choices. So, each day that I consciously choose anything is a great day for me.
Love it LB. The Darkside always seems to be there, right? Just on the other side of The Light.
I’ve never been a drinker, but my mom was, and in true “child of a drunk” fashion I’ve married one full blown addict, and one with huge addictive issues. The thing that all of this stole from me was the deeper connections, both to my family and to both husbands when we were married. It also delayed my learning how to make those connections, and nurture them. And let’s just say I have an advanced degree in co-dependency from it all. The Drinks don’t just affect the drinker – the ripples are profound. What went on between my mom and me affected how I parented my son – and not always in a good way. I’m happy to be sober – I like feeling all my feels, even the crappy ones – and my joyous feels are so damn lovely. My life is so much the richer for facing it head on, and clearly. And man, do I ever enjoy hanging out with people who are not drinking. Thanks for your words on noticing the other addictions that need to be on the “watch out” list, too. I have a few to keep an eye on and I appreciate the reminder. Hugs.
Love you sharing this Sam. It’s hard on families for sure. Have been spinning emotionally today from some craziness. All we can do is stay in permanent recovery, forever and ever.
Sending gentle love at you as you ride the waves. And a “you got this” 🙂
Last week I started a 365(ish) day sobriety. It’s already day 9 and this article couldn’t have come at a better time. It’s not that fact that I’m struggling. It’s just shows me that I made the right decision to make this happen because I want all of these things to come true. All I have read are positive outcomes from people giving up the sauce and it’s comforting to see so many out there who are making it happen. Fuckin A.